Now, the first man to live was called Adam:
the spouse of the very first Madam,
who laboured in pain
for young Abel and Cain
before wondering why she had had ’em.

“It is strange, my dear Adam”, she said,
as she ate up the first loaf of bread,
“those apples I got
that we scoff such a lot
make me feel like I'm living, not dead.”

But Adam sat crunching the crust
and said, “Eve, I am nothing but dust
and only the dross of a
fallen philosopher,
thrall’d by insatiable lust.”

At this, the first lady arose
and the grass left a map of her toes
and she paced all round
looking straight at the ground
with a frown at the top of her nose.

And she thought the first thought that was thought
which the best of her children are taught:
“It is good to conceive”,
say the daughters of Eve,
“because Adam is such a good sport.”