SPIKE MILLIGAN
THE ABC
'Twas midnight in the
schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"
Said A to B, "I don't
like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!"
"I disagree," said
D to B,
" I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O."
C was vexed, "I'm
much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape."
"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"
Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"
"
You're dropping me," roared H to G.
" Don't do it please I pray."
"Out of my way," LL
said to K.
" I'll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.
"U know," said V, "that
W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he."
X and Y yawned sleepily,
"
Look at the time!" they said.
" Let's all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z."