Full many a pair of trousers have I worn
fashioned in denim, corduroy or wool
and, though their days have ended split or torn,
I know that I have filled them to the full.
Often I’ve seen my favourite pants laid low,
wasted by waist’s excess and gluttony
and, as I’ve seen my middle-measure grow,
I’ve felt the large belt sizes hugging me.
So many port-side belt holes have slipped
round to my bows for buckles so to score,
whereat they’ve grown voluptuously hipped,
portly to starboard side, virgin no more.