Once upon a time an amoeba split in two
and then the two amoebae created quite a few;
they continued procreating for the simple joy of mating,
’cos there really wasn’t very much else to do.
And before too long they grew into a multitude,
reproducing very quickly and collecting food.
Realising all their wishes, they developed into fishes
’cos a single-cell amoeba was a bit too crude.
Then the fishes in the ocean swam about a bit
till an enterprising haddock got fed up with it
and he wandered on the beach until the sea was out of reach
although he couldn’t fathom out the land for all his wit.

That’s when Mother Nature came in to intervene
and promptly changed the fish to a lizard with a spleen,
gave him legs to walk around with and a voice to make a sound with
and some lenses that would really make his eyesight keen.
And before too long his children would diversify,
they would generate, sophisticate and multiply,
and they grew and grew and grew into a prehistoric zoo
until the rat became a bat who taught them how to fly.
And the rabbits were delighted when they came to be
and the elephants were absolutely thrilled to see
mighty dinosaur and leopard and the sheep (without the shepherd)
and the pelican, the zebra and the chimpanzee.

Then a million years drifted silently away
and there were many creatures who met their dying day
but the well-adapted ape was in the very best of shape
to start a species that would give the others hell to pay.
And his name was Homo Sapiens, the hunting man:
He was Adam, she was Eve and so the race began,
and the man was very brave: he dragged the woman to his cave
where he presented her with babies and a frying pan.
And before too long he made himself an alphabet,
he invented jammy dodgers and the jumbo jet;
technologic’lly contriving and successfully surviving
for the sake of vegetating on the internet.

Now those days are only history and so are we
cos the women are the bosses and the men ain’t free
so we’ll blow ourselves to bits in Armageddon’s mighty blitz
and then we’ll realise the superman was not to be.

So the story ends and there’s only one thing more:
There was a sole survivor who made it to the shore:
it was not the Queen of Sheba but the very first amoeba
who began the whole procedure like it did before.