Skiing’s for human beings who like to slither down to the river.

I come from Zurich.
I love my music.
I learnt it at the Academy de Suisse.
They taught me Mozart.
They fed me jam tart.
I only wanted Swiss Roll and Ementaal cheese.

Switzerland’s my home. It’s where I was born.
The mountains are pretty, they give me the horn.
After my skiing I’ll have me a jar
Of lovely Swiss lager. Es ist wunderbar!

My girl’s a hornplayer;
She blows a fanfare
Into my Swiss horn. She plays it all night.
And in my hotel
I make her yodel.
We’ve got rhythm and our syncopations are tight.

Switzerland’s my home. It’s where I was born.
The mountains are pretty, they give me the horn.
Daddy makes watches, Mum works in the bank
O, I love my country. Ja wohl! Vielen dank!

(Interval with various yodelling ad libs)

Skiing’s for human beings who like to slither down to the river
And in Geneva, we hunt the beaver
and pay attention to our convention.

Das junge Fräulein, sie ist alle mein,
Essen aus Herz dein, Immanuel Kant!
Wir lieben immer in meinem Zimmer.
Ich liebe dem Augen und das kleine rechts Hand!

Switzerland’s my home. The capital’s Bern.
The snow-covered hilltops surround Lake Lucerne.
Daddy makes watches, Mum works in the bank
O, I love my country. Ja wohl! Vielen dank!

Schwitzerland, mein Heim, geboren ich hier.
Es ist gut für das Madchens, ist gut für das Bier.
Regardez les moutons, et Jean-Paul, mon frère:
Il avons plus enchanté dans son derrière

Repeat chorus. Fade.